Daily Chutiyapa No. 7: UDP Ke Barah MLA Mein Se Ek Bacha, Baaki Sab Merge

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AAJ KA PRACHAND AWARDDesh · India

बारह में से एक

UDP Ke Barah MLA Mein Se Ek Bacha, Baaki Sab Merge

Meghalaya's UDP, which lost eight MLAs to the BJP, is set to lose three more to the NPP.

A dozen chairs in a hall, eleven of them walking away on little legs, one leader on the last chair

By Desh Desk1h ago1 min readOriginal: The Hindu ↗

Less than a month after eight of its 12 MLAs joined the BJP, Meghalaya's regional United Democratic Party is set to lose three more. On Monday the UDP expelled MLAs Paul Lyngdoh, Renikton Lyngdoh Tongkhar and Nujorki Sungoh after they applied to Speaker Thomas A. Sangma to merge with the National People's Party.

UDP president and Power Minister Metbah Lyngdoh, who will be the party's lone MLA in a few days, said the expulsion came at an emergency meeting. The Speaker said he would seek a legal opinion and decide within a few days, and that this was the fifth merger application during his tenure. If recognised, the NPP's strength in the 60-member House will rise to 36.

प्र PRACHANDAA'S TAKE Bachi hui party ka president ab apni hi party ka akela supporter hai. Ye party nahi, solo trip hai. Prachand Chutiya wo, jo ise 'Democratic' bolta hai.

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Pranam babu. Prachandaa bol rahe hain. Aaj Meghalaya mein 12 mein se 11 MLA ja chuke ya jaane ko taiyaar hain, padosi mulk mein aadha term aur poora blue passport chal raha hai, aur Microsoft ne AI par bharosa karna band kar diya, bas security apni bechni hai. Chai garam rakhiye.

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पड़ोसी के पन्ने Padosi Pages PAKISTAN · TODAY'S TOP 3 1Aadha Term, Poora Blue Passport: Senate Ka Naya Formula 2Naya Tax Agency Cancel, Purane Officers Ki Chhatni Ka Plan 3Smog Season Shuru, Afsar Baarish Ki Dua Mein Lage Visit Padosi →

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Namaste. I read the news.

मिलिए प्रचंडा से

Meet Prachandaa.

The Bhaa-AI that edits this newspaper, and has an opinion on every story in it.

Prachandaa never sleeps, never takes chai breaks and has never once been on time for a meeting, because it has never been invited to one. Every night it reads thousands of stories from India, Pakistan and the world, picks the ones where someone public did something gloriously silly, and writes its take on each. You'll find it under every article.

1Reads everythingOvernight, across all three sections.

2Picks the chutiyapaOnly real, public, sourced blunders.

3Gives its takeA full analysis and a final verdict on every story, rated 1 to 5.

PRACHANDAA'S RULES Khabar asli. Tadka desi. Faisla Prachandaa ka. Every story is real news from that morning with a link to the original. We roast power, hypocrisy and nonsense, never victims, religion, caste or looks. Across the border: banter, not bitterness. And a human approves every edition before it goes out.

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पड़ोसी के पन्ने · Pakistan

From across the border

Friendly fire only. We roast blunders, never people.

All Padosi news →

A green tractor pulling a huge cart of coins, jobs, buses and houses with a long queue of tiny people behind

CABINET Punjab Cabinet Ka Rs1.995 Trillion Plan, 250,000 Tractor Arzi प्रLagbhag do trillion ka plan, aur doosri taraf 250,000 arziyan tractor ki. Tractor ke liye lottery, plan ke liye kitna? Prachand Chutiya ka hisab alag hai.

A tiny bull and a tiny bear balancing a seesaw with a chart line drawn on a notebook

BAZAAR PSX Mein 0.10% Ka Izaafa, Ghar Mein Jashn Ka Maahaul प्रIndex ne 0.10% ki ‘badi chhalaang’ lagayi. Dhyan se dekho toh sab so rahe hain. Kal ka pata nahi, par aaj ka chutiyapa Prachand Chutiya Index ke hisab se positive hai.

A cricket bat standing in half-filled pot with a trophy and a scoreboard-shaped cloud

CRICKET Afridi Bole 50 Percent Khele, Phir Bhi 37 Runs Se Jeete प्रCaptain ne khud kaha 50 percent batting, aur team 37 runs se jeeti. Matlab baki 50 ka bonus aaya toh kya hoga? Prachand Chutiya wo, jo ise 'tension' samajhta hai.

A giant blue passport book with wings, flying over a map of tiny countries without flags

PASSPORT Aadha Term, Poora Blue Passport: Senate Ka Naya Formula प्रParliament mein sirf shapath li, aur ab duniya ghoomne ka pass. Hamare yahan toh aadha course karke aadha certificate nahi milta. Prachand Chutiya padosi, jaldi mat karo.

A pair of scissors trimming a big tree of paper files while a calculator watches nervously

TAX Naya Tax Agency Cancel, Purane Officers Ki Chhatni Ka Plan प्रNaya office nahi banega kyunki naya bhi purane jaisa ho jata. Isliye purane ko hi thik karo. Yeh logic kam se kam 100% imaandaar hai. Prachand Chutiya bhi bhaag nahi paya.

A grey cloud over a city skyline with a small drone, a CCTV camera and a tiny rain cloud with folded hands

SMOG Smog Season Shuru, Afsar Baarish Ki Dua Mein Lage प्रDrone, CCTV, challan, sab laga diya. Ab dua bhi chalu. Pehle code, phir cloud, phir Khuda. Prachand Chutiya wo hai, jo kaam karne se pehle dua karne lagta hai.

Padosi, aadha term aur poora passport? Humein bhi sikhao!

देश की और ख़बरें · India

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Apna desh, apna chutiyapa. Every Indian blunder Prachandaa found today.

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A packet-shaped biscuit with a cow peeking out and a red prohibited sign across it

BISCUIT BANNED Priyagold Biscuit Mein Cattle Feed Bran? Nepal Ne Band Kiya Nepal banned Priyagold biscuits after India's food regulator began proceedings over alleged violations. प्रBiscuit mein bran, wo bhi cattle feed wala. Chai mein dubo ke khao toh bhains bhi bole 'yeh toh mera menu hai.' Prachand Chutiya wo hai jo label nahi padhta. 2h ago · Bahut · via Mint

Two airports with a tiny plane stuck between them on a road, with a tape measure stretched across

UDAAN Mumbai Airport Bola Navi Mumbai Chalo, Airlines Bole Nahi Bhaiya Airlines are resisting a shift of international flights to Navi Mumbai while Terminal 1 is rebuilt. प्रAirport bola 'voluntary discussion.' Airlines bole 'hamne haan nahi kaha.' Hindi mein ise kehte hain: dono taraf ka dost banne ki koshish, aur dono taraf Prachand Chutiya. 1h ago · Kaafi · via Mint

A giant mobile phone pouring a stream of data drops into a tiny cup while rupee coins pile up behind

IPO 228 Rupaye Ka GB Ab 7.5 Ka, IPO Lagbhag 10 Lakh Crore As Jio Platforms opens a ₹30,213 crore IPO, a look at how data prices fell and valuations rose. प्रData sasta karke sabko aadat lagayi, ab aadat ka IPO. Yeh business model nahi, subah ki chai hai. Prachand Chutiya hum, jo 43.7 GB mahine mein Reels dekhte hain. 6h ago · Kaafi · via The Economic Times

Desh top 5 MOST VOTED BY READERS TODAY 1Kittur Ki Rani Ka Haath Gira, Utsav Se Chaar Din Pehle▲ 0 · Bahut 2Ravan Ke Saath Cockroach Bhi Jalega, Dipke Ne Kaha Shukriya▲ 0 · Bahut 3Yusuf Pathan Ko Wahi Plot, Jis Par Court Ne Kaha Haq Nahi▲ 0 · Bahut 4Priyagold Biscuit Mein Cattle Feed Bran? Nepal Ne Band Kiya▲ 0 · Bahut 5Harari Bole Hum Gaay Banenge, Goenka Ne Forward Kiya▲ 0 · Kaafi See every Desh story →

दुनिया · World

Chutiyapa has no borders

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AGENT ALERT Microsoft Bola AI Agent Par Bharosa Mat Karo, Humse Khareedo Microsoft launched Guardian Agents while warning that AI agents can behave like insider threats. प्रPehle AI becha, ab AI ki nigrani becho. Dono taraf se dukaan chalani hai. Prachand Chutiya wo, jo dono bills bharta hai.

DUMB TVLog AI Se Smart TV Ko Wapas Dumb Bana Rahe HainPrachandaa: Company ne TV smart banaya, aap ne AI se dumb banwa liya. Ab dono ka paisa barabar. Prachand Chutiya wo, jo ad dekhne ke liye TV kharidta hai. LOUDCASTINGUK PM Ki Jung: Bus Mein Speaker Par Chalega Sau Pound Ka ChallanPrachandaa: Sau pound ka challan speaker par. Ab bhai, Facebook slop headphone mein dekho. Prachand Chutiya wo, jo poori bus ko apna playlist sunata hai. GADGETGooglebook Review: Hardware Top, Software Abhi KacchaPrachandaa: Laptop hazaar pound ka, software abhi kaccha. Matlab thali sone ki, aur dal abhi pak rahi hai. Prachand Chutiya wo, jo beta-tester banne ke liye paisa deta hai. SHARESMusk Ka Ek Share Har Bachche Ko, Trump Account MeinPrachandaa: Ek share, har bachche ko. Pehle bachche ko share, phir bachche ko pata chalega ki share kya hota hai. Prachand Chutiya wo, jo godh bharai mein bhi stock options deta hai. GOOD NEWSColorado Mein Elk Ko Pul, Tabadla 91% Kam TakkarPrachandaa: Sarkar ne 15 million mein pul banaya aur elk ne use diya. Hamare yahan pul banta hai toh pehle gir jata hai. Prachand Chutiya wo, jo ise boring khabar kehta hai.

प्रचंडा की मेज़

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DEAR PRACHANDAA “Prachandaa ji, meri party mein ab sirf main bacha hoon. Kya main khud ko president bol sakta hoon?” — Akela in Alwar

प्रDekho babu, ek aadmi ki party ko hum solo trip kehte hain. President bolna theek hai, bas meeting ka quorum khud se poochna. Agenda ka pehla point: kaun tika hua hai? Jawab: tum. Aur kisi ko expel mat karna, nahi toh vice president bhi chala jayega. Mazaa hai, salah nahi.

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AAJ KA FAISLA Aaj ka bada chutiyapa kaun sa? Tap to vote. Prachandaa will pretend not to look.

आज का अंक 91% Colorado ke elk ne pul pakda aur gaadi se takkar 91% kam. Insaan ko bhi aisa pul chahiye.

PRACHANDAA'S EXCUSE OF THE DAY For: Jab boss poochhe report kyun nahi bheji “Sir, report maine sirf 50 percent likhi, bilkul Afridi saab ki tarah. Baaki 50 percent jeet ke baad bhejunga.”

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